The very real heartache of ‘empty nest blues’.

Here at Boarding Schools Expo Australia, we have first hand experience of the ‘empty nest blues’ and although Term 1 is coming to an end, it’s inevitable that the emotions will rise up again once your children head off for Term 2.

Sending a child off to boarding school can evoke a mix of emotions for parents, ranging from pride and excitement to a profound sense of loss and loneliness. This transition can be particularly challenging for parents who have been deeply involved in their child’s daily life, none more so than our most remote families who are, more often than not, home educators and accustomed to being their child’s ‘everything’ really.

I remember when my youngest went off to boarding school. It coincided with my eldest beginning University and moving into College, and honestly, I was bereft. It took me so long to settle into the strange sense of emptiness at home, to find my ‘groove’ so to speak and then just when I was feeling a sense of normalcy holidays would roll around and the cycle would begin all over again.

It does get easier…. It truly does. Here are a few tips we’ve put together to help you navigate this emotional pipeline :

1. Know Your Feelings are OK : It’s normal to feel a sense of emptiness and sadness when your child leaves for boarding school. Allow yourself to grieve this change while also acknowledging the pride you feel as your child settles in and makes new friends.
2. Stay Connected: Just because your child is away at school doesn’t mean you can’t stay connected. Schedule regular phone calls, video chats, or visits if it’s possible, to help you and your new boarder settle in.
3. Engage in Self-Care: Use this newfound time for self-care activities that nurture your well-being. Rediscover hobbies, spend time with friends, or get into activities you’ve been putting off. Taking care of yourself emotionally and physically will better equip you to support your child.
4. Seek Support: Reach out to other parents who have gone through the experience. Local friends, school parent groups (boarder committees) can provide a space to share feelings and gain perspective. Professional counseling or therapy can also be beneficial in processing emotions particularly if you feel you’re stuck.
5. Stay Involved in School Life: Boarding schools encourage parental involvement. Attend school events if you can, parent-teacher meetings, or volunteer opportunities. Involvement can help ease the transition and make you feel more connected to your child’s new environment. Since the pandemic, so many parent groups offer video (zoom) meetings which allow for involvement regardless of where you live.

If like me, you’ve got the double whammy of ‘empty nest blues’ and a child who is terribly homesick, here are a few tips that may help. Boarding Schools Expo Australia also has a dedicated podcast series of Destination Boarding : Nailing Homesickness – here we chat with the kids themselves about their top tips for overcoming challenges of settling into boarding school.

Here are a couple of tips for you to adopt when chatting with your new boarder :

1. Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge and validate your child’s feelings of homesickness. Let them know it’s okay to feel sad or lonely and reassure them that these feelings are temporary.
2. Encourage Communication: Encourage your child to communicate openly about their experiences, both positive and negative. Offer a listening ear without judgment and provide empathy and encouragement.
3. Send Comforts from Home: Send care packages filled with familiar items from home like photographs, favourite snacks, or a comforting object. These reminders of home can provide comfort during moments of homesickness.
4. Focus on Positives: Help your child focus on the positives of their new environment, such as making new friends, exploring new interests, and gaining independence.

Using some of these strategies, both parents and children can navigate the transition to boarding school with greater ease, managing the ’empty nest blues’ and homesickness effectively. Remember, while the adjustment period may be challenging, it is also an opportunity for growth and new experiences for both parents and children alike.

For more resources visit our blog and don’t miss out on listening to our dedicated podcast series, Destination Boarding, where we chat with students (current and past), parents, and the schools themselves about all things boarding in Australia.