Introducing our guest blogger: Mrs Judy Duffy, current Head of Boarding for Kambala Girls’ School in Sydney.
We know its getting to that tricky time in Term Two, where the newness of everything has worn off and boarders can start getting a bit homesick and holidays seem far away. We asked Mrs Duffy to share some of her wisdom and recommendations from her many years of experience looking after boarding school students. We hope you find them helpful.
Tips for overcoming homesickness by Mrs Judy Duffy.
For Boarders
Keep Busy – Busy Boarders are happy boarders. The school is your backyard and there are always others who will want to share their leisure time with you. Map out a plan for your week to complete some activities or goals each weekend and tick them off as you finish each of them.
Be a YES person – sometimes you may not feel like going to the shops with your friends when they ask you.Take a deep breath, smile and say OK! You will likely want them to accompany you another time and the very best tonic for sadness is laughter and sunshine.
Try something new – this is a whole new life, not just a new school. Often you are offered or the school promotes new experiences. Join the Drama club, the Debating Society (the very best thing for shyness and fear of public speaking), the Charity Committee, the Environment Group, the name doesn’t have to excite you. You can always pull out! Nothing ventured, nothing gained
Have music – Feed the Soul! An IPOD, your guitar, itunes, music and headphones on your phone – nothing cures an ailing heart more successfully than an upbeat song! Move and groove to the music, close your eyes and lose your inhibitions – you are among friends, all of whom would like to be doing the same thing…..and will, if you set the example.
Exercise, Friends and Fresh Air. Avoid cabin fever and get out of the boarding house. Play soccer on the oval, do some Pilates in the courtyards, lie on the lawn on a sunny day – simple, natural and reminiscent of home. A good book, a good friend and a healthy dose of fresh air almost guarantee a brighter outlook and a sense of well-being.
Share and Care. You now live in a community and whether it feels like it or not, you are among kindred spirits, all of whom share your experience and will care if you let them in. Try not to be possessive of your time, your conversation or your treats! Boarding is the ultimate sharing experience, as often a single room is not an option. Privacy is sometimes difficult in a six-bed dorm! Focus on the positive – an optimistic and positive person is always someone’s best friend
Cross off your calendar. Nothing beats home and going back home is always only a matter of time. Have a calendar pinned next to your bed, the holiday highlighted, and a bright texta to cross off the days or the weeks – you will be amazed how quickly time passes.
For Parents
YOU are critical to your child’s happy and successful transition to boarding school. YOU are always the most important people in their lives.
Prepare yourself and your child realistically. Do not portray boarding school as being all fun and excitement. Ensure your son/daughter knows exactly why you have chosen boarding as the best secondary school experience for them and why staying at home is not the better option. Try not to express expectations but ensure an understanding that you are as excited as they are at the possibilities that could arise from this new life experience.
Do not portray boarding as a trial experience – this is a decision that has been made after careful consideration, understanding of his/her needs and research as to the best environment for their happiness and future.
Always show your pride and understanding that this is a monumental leap in personal growth for them and that you are supporting them at every step throughout their time at boarding school.
Allow plenty of time for preparation and pack his/her gear for boarding school together and with good humour. NO CRYING!
Schedule your call. Schools vary in their mobile phone policy and parent contact policy, particularly in the first four weeks. If you have regular access to contact your child, set a time plan, keep to it and keep the phone calls short and as positive as possible.
Call when the sun is shining. A morning or daytime call is always preferable to an evening or bedtime call at least for the first year.
Be armed with questions.Keep your son/daughter talking – have ay least ten questions beside the phone so that those long pauses can be quickly filled with attention getters!
Boarding School is a privilege not a punishment. You have worked hard and continue to work hard to support your son/daughter through this financially expensive but thoroughly worthwhile educational experience. Remind yourself and your son/daughter that a boarding experience is a tremendous privilege and that you are grateful that your son/daughter is utilising this adventure and making an effort to sample the smorgasbord of opportunity all boarding schools provide.
Reassure that all is fine at home and awaiting their return. Your child worries about you, about their animals, their personal possessions, their siblings at home overshadowing their absence. Reassurance that all is as it should be, that everything awaits them and that everyone is excited about their return at the breaks to see them and hear their news is vital particularly in the early years.