It’s that time of the year when families begin getting ready for the ‘drop off’…for some, they’ve been at it for years but for so many it will be their first time.
I equate these last couple of weeks of January to the build-up before a storm. There’s a distinct change in the atmosphere at home; you might even notice some behavioural changes in your kids. I always experienced heightened tensions and if I’m honest, over reactions to situations that would otherwise slide on by in the daily routine of life.
I really wanted to jump on and have a chat with a boarder Mum and acknowledge some of our reactions to drop off. When I look back over my time with kids at boarding school we were really expected to move on with our emotions, and I guess there’s some benefit to that, but it’s also important to give yourself permission to feel the grief. That’s what it is. Whether short-lived or ongoing, it’s a form of grief. You are unapologetically a parent and that’s going to rustle up some pretty big feelings at the school gates.
Today I’m chatting about this with Kirsty Wiggins from the central western plains town of Narromine in NSW. Kirsty is Mum to four boarders, two of whom have finished school and off onto their next adventures and as we identified after recording that’s a whole other gamut of emotions to hit you in the heart, along with her two youngest sons who are still boarding at Joey’s in Sydney. Some of you listening may be aware of Kirsty’s fashion and jewellery brand Dumble Collective I’ll pop a link in the show notes. Gorgeous jewellery designed by Kirst and built from the ground up, and incorporating the fashion label that was formerly Longrass Style. Rural lady start-ups and don’t we love that.
There’s much chat here about our own experiences as our children went to school. We both still get emotional. My experiences are so long ago now but wow my heart still pulls the yearning card when I talk about it.
Before I bring you in on the conversation, I just want to remind you that Boarding Schools Expo has quite a few articles and a couple of old podcast episodes that you might want to visit if you’re looking for solidarity among others. Hang in there until the end and I’ll run through them but let’s get on with the conversation – I really hope you come away knowing that you’re not alone and that it’s ok to not feel ok. And blokes, this is for you too.
It’s a big time in our lives. There’s a lot of change and change takes getting used to. We just really want you to know that if you find the change hard, if you find yourself so sad it’s hard to not dissolve into tears, it’s ok. Find a friend, get into your new routine and keep those big dark sunnies on for as long as you need to.
A couple of old episodes you could listen to include the one we did with Bec Austin and another on the ‘Ceremony of Leaving’ where Lucy Samuels and I chat about some little occasions or rituals you could focus on in the build-up to heading off. If your kids are struggling tune into our Nailing Homesickness Summer Series, short 15-minute chats with the kids themselves. They’re gold. They will help build some confidence in your child – not least knowing that they’re not alone. I’m really thinking of all our boarder families at this time, and particularly our new boarder families. Go easy on yourself.